Well, It looks like i got unbanned. Waylon wrote me another email or two. It seems that some of my points got lost in my own sensational language. I’d like to make it clear that I don’t think waylon, the elephant, or its staff, is homophobic, or in general prejudiced. I was merely suggesting two things…
First, that using a lousy book about BDSM as a jumping off point to picking on people who have a kinky sexuality is hurtful. And that it’s unnecessary to have a vanilla pride manifesto. it reads like a thinly veiled attack to those of us who already feel shy or hesitant to share this part of our lives with the world. Wether that is the intention or not, it reads that way. I realize that I write this anonymously. Partly because I feel shy about letting just anybody know this is part of my life. Also, I have some believe that most people simply aren’t interested in what my bedroom activities are. Just as I’m not really interested in the sexuality of the people over at the Elephant. Except for maybe that one girl….. anyhow, As a result of this, i have been chided a bit for being secretive. It was always moot before. I never intended to be an activist. Just a guy musing about sex, and posting some pictures that he thinks are hot.
And Second, that his vocal and repeated insistence that he wasn’t kinky, made me think that maybe he was a closet kinkster. I think that is still possible. Of course, this is me being silly. I couldn’t presume to know what anyone else likes, but it does remind me of Shakespeare’s phrase, “Methinks the lady doth protest too much”. Its low hanging fruit, for sure. I’d still love to read the article where Waylon visits the pro-domme, and documents his experience, getting a spanking.
So, I didn’t mean to go in for a personal, ad hominem attack (now i have to google ‘logical fallacies’ and figure out which one is ad hominem), but i was a bit fired up, and did use some firery and slightly personal rhetoric. I was hoping it would be read as slightly humorous too…ah, live and learn.
As it stands, I was invited to write an article. I will probably call it, “the tantric gifts of BDSM”, if i write it at all. Which will then mean i have to do a photoshop of W in some leather slave gear. That might be too much work… and so, of to dinner.
I don’t appreciate, given my work and track record, being vaguely accused of homophobia. Whether this were aimed at me or another, I’d block said commenter. We don’t go in for ad hominem, personal attacks. You have to understand that my life’s work is for equality, for eco responsibility, and being accused of racism, sexism or prejudice against GLBTQ brothers or sisters goes against everything I’ve devoted myself and sacrificed for.I made a simple argument: it’s 1) bad writing 2) I don’t find violence, or feigned violence, a turn-on. That’s my (albeit limited) opinion. No need to get personal. If you’d like to offer another perspective, write your views, we’ll feature it! firstname.lastname@example.orgAnd am happy to un-ban you, grudges take too much energy.
Dear Anonymous friend,
Just saw your blog, thanks to your tweet about it…love it. And love your followup. Sorry, I just don’t like the whole being-vaguely-accused-of-homophobia thing, I can’t really stand for that.As for having a problem with S&M, as long as it’s coming from a safe, loving place, I’ve got no problem with it. I did not feel that the scenes I read from Shades of Grey represented that. They represented danger, and uncertainty, which obviously without safety or respect or love can be dangerous things. That was my point: from a feminist or “man-ist” point of view, there’s nothing sexy about the possibility of actually hurting someone.PS: you should add my two responses to your response and make the whole thing an article on elephant and then you should do a column on elephant and further enlighten me and our readers about kinky sex or whathaveyou.In which case, I’ll use the goddessWaylonBDSM photoshop as my profile image, promise.